Letting go
by metaphoricheart
Summary: Sometimes letting go of the ones we love is hard, but it is an important lesson. Three parter, last parts will be published soon.


**Wow, it's been an incredibly long time since I've written fanfiction, but here I am with a story! This will most likely be a three parter, however the next part will be much shorter. **

**I would say there ages are as follows: Peter 25, Susan 24, Edmund 22, Lucy, 20.**

**I hope you enjoy my story and thanks for reading!**

* * *

"Have you seen Edmund?"

Lucy looked up from the cross stitch she was working on to see Peter standing in the doorway of her study.

"I haven't seen him since breakfast, Pete. Sorry."

"He was supposed to meet me thirty minutes ago to play chess in the library."

"Maybe he just got caught up in a book or in his own thoughts. You know how Ed does that," Lucy said reassuring.

"Yeah, maybe," Peter hesitantly agreed before heading back to the library. Maybe Edmund would show up, and if not,well, Peter had some reading to get done anyway.

As Peter was walking to the library, thoughts distracted and not paying attention, he bumped into Susan.

"Oh! Peter! I was just coming to talk to you!"

"Sorry about that Su, what did you need to talk to me about?"

Susan shifted anxiously. "How about we go to your study to talk about this, hmm?"

Peter's eyebrows furrowed at this but gestured for Susan to lead the way to his study.

Once Peter had settled down behind his desk, he watched Susan pace around the room.

"Su, what is it?"

Susan stopped, and clasped her hands in front of her. "I...Peter...um, Lady Ahnnika, she informed me this morning after breakfast that she has indeed decided to return home."

Peter was silent for a few minutes. Until, "Does...does Edmund know?"

Susan made her way to the desk and sat down at the chair opposite Peter, and folded her hands on the desk surface. "I don't know," she said quietly.

Lady Ahnnika was visiting ambassador from Archenland who had become fast friends with all of the Pevensies, so much so that she had been staying for the past six months. She was incredibly helpful with negotiations with other lands and with communications with their allies in Archenland. Although the Pevensies saw her as part of their family, she and Edmund had grown especially close. She was an ideal partner for Edmund in the court, and in other duties towards Narnia. She was quick witted, knowledgeable, and able to put up with Edmund's snark at all hours of the night better than Peter and Lucy.

At first it had been quiet, but it became increasingly obvious to Cair Paravel that Ahnnika and Edmund were slightly more than good friends and business partners. Ahnnika was able to draw Edmund out of his shell more than Lucy ever could on her silliest days. More suprsingly, however, was the fact that Edmund who was usually so reserved with everyone except his siblings, and even then only Peter saw Edmund cry, let Ahnnika in. Everyday Peter and the rest of his siblings were thankful for Ahnnika's presence in both their lives, but especially in Edmund's.

But it had been no secret that Ahnnika missed home and Archenland missed her presence, and her duties called to her and she had a decision to make. She could stay in Narnia with the Pevensies and continue to bring light and expertise into their lives, or she could return home and continue her work for Archenland.

"When does she plan on leaving?" Peter asked, trying to be diplomatic.

"She said at the end of the week, once she and Edmund have finished drafting the new law about mute beasts," Susan said quietly.

"Is she going to tell Edmund?" Peter held his breath.

"Yes...I… I believe she is doing that as we speak," Susan whispered.

"Very well," Peter reached across the table and clasped Susan's hands.

8888

Peter hadn't been able to concentrate on anything all day. He had a stack of paperwork in front of him that he had barely touched except for his signature. Edmund hadn't been at lunch. And-

there was a knock on the door of his study.

"Come in," Peter said formally.

The door opened to show none other than Lady Ahnnika. Peter grinned. "My dear lady, to what do I owe this pleasure?"

She rolled her eyes and smiled slyly at him. "I'm not sure if what I'm about to say is going to make my presence a pleasure."

"Oh? Well, why don't you sit down and we can sort it out."

"Yes...okay, I um, I have something of importance to tell you," Ahnnika said nervously, tucking a loose strand of brown curls behind her ear.

Peter waited patiently for Ahnnika to tell him what this thing of important was, but she just kept staring at her boots.

"Ahnnika," Peter said gently, getting her to look up. "Susan told me late this morning."

"Oh, and uh, what do you think?" She replied her blue eyes not meeting Peter's.

"I think, you should do what is best for you, although we will be terribly upset to see you go."

She smiled slightly but her eyes were sad, "That's what Edmund said."

Peter wasn't sure what to say, "He's a good person."

"He isn't, he?" She said, almost to herself.

It came out before Peter could stop himself, "How did he seem to take the news?"

"Well..he said what you said, but he's upset. He's not very good at hiding it like he thinks he is...I...I'm sorry about the upset I'm causing, but, I need to go home…"

"I understand, Ahhnika. It's okay. We'll look after Edmund."

Ahnnika stood up. "Thank you," she said quietly, and left the room quickly before Peter could see her tears.

8888

The night before Ahnnika's departure, Peter was speaking quietly to Aslan outside on his balcony. Speaking outside and looking at the ocean made Peter feel closer to Aslan for some reason. He was worried for Edmund and Aslan seemed to be the best person to talk to at the moment.

As Peter was talking, he heard voices on Edmund's balcony above him- Ahnnika and Edmund's.

"Ed, please...look at me, darling."

"I can't," Edmund's voice said in a raspy way.

Peter realized that he should probably leave and not be eavesdropping on a private moment between Ahnnika and Edmund, however how desperately upset Edmund sounds from two words keeps Peter rooted to the spot.

"Please, sweets, please…" Ahnnika plead with Edmund tenderly.

"I don't want you to go, but I want you to be happy and do what's best for you," Edmund chokes out.

Peter imagines Ahnnika running her hand through Edmund's hair slowly, like he's seen her do many times when Edmund is the slightest bit upset.

"I know, Ed. I know. This is difficult for me too…"

"I know, I'm sorry. I'm being selfish, I-"

"Shh, shhh, darling. It's okay."

They fall silent for a while and Peter imagines Ahnnika's arm around Edmund's waist with her head on his shoulder..

"We'll be looking at the same stars, you know, darling?"

"Mmm. That's a nice thought," Edmund replied.

"So just...look at the stars when you miss me...…," Ahnnika starts crying. Peter can here Edmund making shushing noises, and rocking her back and forth.

"I will, Ahnnie, I will."

8888

In the weeks since Ahnnika left, Peter often heard Edmund outside on his balcony at night instead of in bed. Peter said nothing to Edmund about this, but worried about how tired Edmund looked and the fact that it was quickly turning into fall in Narnia, and it wouldn't do well for Edmund to sit out in the cold at night.

Edmund was the same as ever, but quieter, and confused- like he'd lost an extension of himself he'd been used to for so long. In counsel he constantly turned to his left only to realize Ahnnika wasn't there.

As it got colder, and colder, Peter decided he needed to put his foot down. He'd been letting Edmund deal with everything by himself and quietly, giving him space, but it was time he stepped in. At least to keep Edmund inside at night. Susan would kill them both if Edmund got a cold and Lucy would smirk for ages.

That night when Edmund went off to bed, Peter waited for a half hour or so before quietly letting himself into Edmund's room and then stepping out onto the balcony holding Edmund's winter cape.

"You should put this on, Ed."

Edmund jumped. "Peter!"

"Don't make me that an order from the High King," Peter smirked and handed Edmund the cape.

Edmund silently put it on. "You don't have yours on. Hypocrite."

Peter smirked again and snarked, "I'm not the one who gets sick every other week when it's cold."

"Ha...what are you doing out here?"

"Just thought I would enjoy preventing you from freezing," Peter said lightly.

"Really, Pete. What are you doing here?"

Peter sighed. "I just wanted to see how you're doing...and um, tell you that you need to stop sitting outside at night until it's warmer."

"I see," Edmund said flatly. Peter looked over at him, but could read nothing off of his younger brother.

"Ed...I know this is hard for you, but please...don't...don't do this."

"Don't do what, Peter?" Edmund snapped.

"Shut yourself out. Freeze to death. I don't know," Peter trailed off.

Edmund got up heavily from the bench, and put his hands on the balcony and looked up at the stars.

Peter knew what Edmund was doing, but said nothing. Some things were better left unsaid.

Edmund whirled around. "Do you when I first fell in love with her?"

Peter shook his head, shocked that Edmund had asked him that.

"The day she gave that ambassador from Carnes Island a run for his money."

Peter smiled. "Yes, she did, didn't she?"

Edmund turned back to the stars again.

"I miss her everyday."

"I know you do, Eddie."

"We write to each other, but it's not the same," Edmund told his older brother.

"Mmm," Peter didn't know what to say.

"But this is what she wants, so it'll be okay," Edmund said confidently and turned around, tears running down his pale cheeks.

Peter nodded, still unsure how to react. He and Edmund had never had to deal with this before.

"Don't worry, Pete. I'll stop sitting outside. Let's go in before Susan finds us."

8888

The Pevensies still kept in contact with Ahnnika through letters, but one day two years later, a special envelope arrived.

"Oohh it's a wedding invitation! Oh Ahnnika is getting married!" Lucy cried as she read through the contents of the envelope.

Peter started to smile but it froze and quickly looked at Edmund. He was looking at the floor, his eyes slightly misty. Susan and Lucy stopped giggling, when they caught sight of him.

Lucy put the envelope back on the table, but as she did, a small folded slip of paper fell out. Lucy picked it up. "Ed, it's...it's for you."

Edmund grabbed it, and as he opened it up and read the contents, the tears in his eyes spilled over.

"Ed...are you alright?" Peter asked hesitantly looking to his sisters for help.

To Peter's surprise, Edmund handed him the slip of paper.

_Dearest Edmund,_

_You will always hold a special place in my heart. Thank you for showing me the stars._

_I hope you come to the wedding, but I understand if you do not. I am so sorry._

_Best wishes, my darling Ed._

_Love always,_

_Ahnnie_

_Peter looked up and saw Edmund smiling, "She's happy, I'm happy," he stated quietly._


End file.
